Our grand plan was this: Buy a house, renovate it, sell it for a motza and then do again - five more times. I pictured us; mortgage free, equity rich, able to relax in our late forties and dining out regularly on our brilliant idea.
Sadly, we are shit at it.
This is not our first renovation. But it is the most major.
Sadly, we are shit at it.
This is not our first renovation. But it is the most major.
We just totally underestimated the scale of the renovation. To be honest, I had just had a baby, the house was dazzling us with its orange shag pile carpet and the vicinity to the Broadwater gave us the type of false sense of security that we could live in a tent as long as we stayed close to the water. Naive' or stupid? You be the judge.
I have just had 3 weeks “holiday”. Apart from the previously mentioned hellish and repeated visits to the hospital with the 3 year old shit magnet, we have also, most every day, either performed the renovating, or visited warehouses and factories to get the stuff required for said renovation.
I liken the process to getting married. OK, bear with me.
From the moment we set a date for our wedding, it was on. And I mean fucking – on. Every Saturday and Sunday was taken up with visits to bridal shops, venues, churches, travel agents, wedding expos, cake makers, balloon shops and yeah, you get the picture, it was weddings a go go.
I have just had 3 weeks “holiday”. Apart from the previously mentioned hellish and repeated visits to the hospital with the 3 year old shit magnet, we have also, most every day, either performed the renovating, or visited warehouses and factories to get the stuff required for said renovation.
I liken the process to getting married. OK, bear with me.
From the moment we set a date for our wedding, it was on. And I mean fucking – on. Every Saturday and Sunday was taken up with visits to bridal shops, venues, churches, travel agents, wedding expos, cake makers, balloon shops and yeah, you get the picture, it was weddings a go go.
Then the wedding came and went. It had been a full scale military exercise to bring that day together, not to mention, squeeze into my dress and then, poof, it was over. I was bereft and cast adrift on my Saturdays. What now? Spend actual time with my new husband?
And money, Jesus don’t get me started on the so called “budget”. Please read that and make the stupid quotation marks as you do, because the sentence above is pure bullshit. The thing is, my husband actually does a hell of a lot of this himself and we are still leaking money like a kid with gastro. Plus we just have such different ideas on what needs to be done and at what cost.
Tip for would-be renovators: unless you freakishly agree on everything in your lives, you can expect at least one conversation when you tell your partner to shove a particular tool up their arse. It is almost guaranteed.
So my analogy of marriage and renovating a house I guess is this: Every single spare moment we have at the moment is taken up with our new project, renovating the unrenovatable. The project has changed, but it still requires the same amount of passion and input as a wedding does.
I mean, what will we do when the house is complete? I’ll tell you what we’ll do. We will make the word renovation a swear word in the Morley household, never to be mentioned again. Oh and live happily ever after.
14 comments:
I always used to point, and jeer at the couples hissing at each other in warehouses. Fool. Then we started renovating...
Oh god! I hear you sister. They are such a drain mentally, emotionally, financially. Just like a wedding. Our extension is complete but feck this - there are skirting boards and doors missing but I don't care!! Just let it be over! Make it go away!
We have a horrible habit of always doing two things at once. Last year we were renovating two houses at once. This year we're renovating and planning a wedding. I hear you sister!
This is very timely - we are just about to embark on a big renovation. We already differ on one big thing: hubby wants to just 'do a bit at a time' and I want it all done as quickly as possible. And we argue about this already (great start, I know).
But we have friends who have been renovating the same house the whole time I've known them - roughly 11 years. That will NOT be me! Everything gets put on hold - holidays and other fun things - because all time and money must be spent on the house. So therefore, my vote is to just do it and do it quickly. Then move on.
No Bern, not today. I am hoping to hear from Council today so that my husband and I can STOP fighting and actually start the renovation.
I fear that there is little chance that we will come out of this renovation as a couple. In fact I am already trying to auction him off to the highest bidder so that I can afford that recess feature wall. (I am well aware that I will not attract enough from the sale of said husband to afford the kitchen appliances I want)
LOL Bern - Eyes on the prize and don't sweat the little stuff. You have the gift of a great sense of humour - I believe it's what makes some people able to cope better than others.
We did ours in stages. Both times I was pregnant. I can't tell you how difficult it was to walk down to the 2nd bathroom, dodging a pile of rubble on the way, and trying to remind yourself (when you're half asleep) NOT to make a sudden left turn because you'll fall in to a large HOLE where the main bathroom USED to be - all the while conscious of the fact that your bladder is about to EXPLODE!
We've started to look at houses off and on, and every time we see one that needs "a bit of work" I shudder.
Completely understand, Bern!
Oh No! I want a new kitchen and bathroom. Maybe I just go buy some shoes instead.
We spent a year owner bulding a house and it drove me so mental that I will NEVER do it again, regardless of how much I love the house now.
Hell is dragging kids to the tile shop every damn weekend and not having a chance to properly look at anything because you're too scared they'll break the displays.
As a consequence everything in our place is white- too hard to spend more time choosing a colour!
Stay strong!
The house will be finished the night AFTER the 'for sale' goes up ;)
Take it from someone who knows ;)
This is the kind of post that makes me think we are demented. Scratch that, we are demented. That said, we aren't going to build for at least another year, reading this makes me think we need to wait longer. and buy a lottery ticket.
It's all fun and games til someone gets an angle grinder shoved in unfamiliar territory ;)
I had to live through that dust all last year. When my husband said the word renovation this weekend, I almost slapped him.
We recently had to buy a TV unit to put our new teev into. Wow. It took 3 separate shopping trips and much indecision / angst. I lost sleep even. I think a renovation would basically break my husband and I...
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